Ok so Janey kindly reminded me that I hadn't bloged in ages and I thought that mabye I should. So a lot has happened since I last blogged, so where do I start?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well school's been a bitch for the past couple of weeks, my theory is that the teachers really do want to make our lives hell by chucking like 500 assessments at us all at the same time. No joke, 8 assessments due all in the same week. There should never be more assessments than days in the week!

So Janey's sitting next to me and we're in modern. EmShaz isn't here which is like sooooo sad! But we have Mrs Gray insteed which is ok. I just had maths and Jane and Clare managed to keep their mouths shut for the whole lesson and I really do think that it killed them! Mrs Gray scared the crap out of me though, I was trying to remember the formula for the surface area of a cylinder, which is two pie radius squared plus two pie radius times by height by the way, and she just started yelling at me! Anyway mabye she's had a bad day or whatever.

I really think that Katherine is the only one in the class doing work right now, everyone else is on their own or someone elses bolg. I love Miss Shanahan, she wrote on the sheet she left for us "There will not be any relevent information found on blogs belonging to anyone in the class, so stay away from them."

ARGH stupid people who can't get around the fact that there are differnent people in the world! And Casey just in case you were still wondering "How special is too special" the answer is there is no such thing as being too special. I am special and nothing any of you blood sucking, down right weirdos can change that! Je voudrais te tuer! Funny thiing is that I probaly spelt that wrong and Beth will be the only one that can understand it! It's a good thing though Beth, you must keep doing French with me in Yr 12 even if we fail! We're already on the way to having conversations that no one can understand!

Well enough about all this crap, mabye I should start doing work now seeing as I just had parent/teacher evening and Miss Shanahan was really nice!

Cya later guys.

Ok so Janey kindly reminded me that I hadn't bloged in ages and I thought that mabye I should.

Unknown

When a friend's in pain what do you do? Do you intervene and try and stop it, do you sit back and watch as they sort it out for themself (after all you can't always help), do you tell them it will be alright even if it wont, do you hold them when they cry, do you cry with them, do you cry without them? What do you do when a friend dies?

You can't cry, you can't sleep, you can't talk about it, you can't even breath! When the ringtone goes off and your mobile flashes and vibrates on the wodden surface, you look at the caller I.D and your heart skips a beat. Press the green button and place the phone to your ear, you dont say anything and neither do they, it's an unspoken understanding of what's to come. You think about the stupid things that are no longer, the personal jokes no one else will understand and you can't txt them and tell them to listen to that song that reminds you of that time!!!!! Someone explain what's the right way to handle the loss of someone, truth is there is no right way - never has been and never will be!!!

It's hard to watch someone die but it's even harder to see the people left behind.

Holidays await

I can't believe that we only have two days of school left! Ok do we have final numbers for Monday?!?!?!?! Everyone who dosen't speak to me before I've decided on Manly it's just going to be easier and I can't be bothered waiting for everyone to give me where they want to go! So if you don't like sorry but too bad!!!!!

For all you guys that are going away and leaving us for Christmas and won't be in any state for New Year, we're really going to miss you! I hope you guys have a great time over there and that you have a great Christmas away. Anyhoo I'm in Bio at the moment and Mrs Hallett is on the prowl so I better act like I'm doing work.

Cya guys later love Jess xoxoxo.

Who to trust?!?!?!

Do you ever have one of those days where everything is going just right for you, nothing has gone wrong all day and then out of the blue something is said or done and it hits you straight in the face. It's not even like someone ment to say something that hurts, it just happens, it's ment to be a joke or something but it has a whole other meening to you.

You sit there and think about it, probaly more than you should be, after all it was just a joke right?!?!?!?!?! You see them walk up to you and tell you what you've lost, the friend you never thought you'd find is gone and she isn't coming back. You think the most selfish thought you could ever think - "Fuck I wish I had of gone rather than her", she'd hate you for saying it but how can you not? She said she'd be ok and that it didn't really matter, you know "whatever!" Does she know what she'd leave behind, an empty friend who would cry herself to sleep if ever asked to face the world without her. Don't change for me and don't think that I'm asking you to, I can't do that, change for you and no one else - you're the one who matters, you're the one who is there all the time not me or him or anyone else just you!

Should you really put so much in one person? Will they get bored with it all being so serious? Will you become one of those people who can't have fun, you just spend all your time worrying - shit I hope not! Where do you draw the line between just saying "Screw it, we're all just having fun" and "This isn't fun, this is dangerous." How are you ment to draw the line between trusting someone and letting them in but keeping yourself safe from halm at the same time, after all as soon as you feel for them, even just a little bit, then you've given them the power to hurt you ten times more than you ever though possiable. Mabye we'd all just be better off if we stayed within ourselves, trusted no one but oursleves and focused all our energy loving ourself and not others, yeah it could sound selfish but hey do you think people who hurt others are really truly happy within themselves? I don't know, I sure don't have all the answers. All I know is life has to be great for you before you can make sure it's great for others, it's up to you if you really make it great for you for the sake of others or if you just say it's great for others - that's the individuals preprogative.

But in the words of a great friend "Whatever" it never really mattered!

The Adventures of Duke of Ed

Thank god I got back this time without getting lost and having to camp under massive trees in gale force winds! This weekend was a bit more civilized. After a rather long bus trip up past winsor singing 80's songs at the top of our lungs we finialy got to the Murray River. We kind of stuffed up while going down the river when we realised that none of us had a map out or even knew where our camp site was but we got there alright.

First night was a good camping night, we even had flushing toilets - OMG! There were sooo many whennobegaos (If that's how you spell it) in the camp site, they were having some kind of meeting so we ended up pitching tent on the golf course and almost got hit on the head by a large amount of middle aged know - it - alls who couldn't hit a golf ball to save their live! As we were heading off to bed some guys in the caravan park decided to turn up their poor taste in music up rather loud making it rather hard to get a good nights sleep. This horriable music would normally be casue of some amusment but not when you know you're up at 5.30 the next morning and rowing 26km to your next campsite.

I'm not even going to go into detail about the Saturday, it was sooo boring sitting in that boat all day doing the same old thing from 6.45 am until 5 pm. Lets just say we were all rather happy when we got to the end and were then told our walk for the next day was going to be easier than first expected due to the hot weather - thank god for global warming - only kidding. We slept in a field full of cows and this time there were no flushing toliets, just drop ones.

Day 3 of Duke of Ed. You know how you get those stupid mind games you get given in things like team building programs where they're like ok you have 4 boats and you need to get this many packs and people to the other side of the river in as little time as possiable and only have one boat on the other side by the end, and eveyones always saying when the hell will we need to do this?!?!?!?! Well that's what we spent the first hour of our sunday morning doing, it all resulted in me standing in cow shit infested water for a good 45mins thought which wasn't the best start to the day but hey I'll live! Then the walk turned out even easier than we thought even after rodoing our route plan for the day. All we had to do was cross the river, walk a km and then go up to the top of a knoll which was only 60m high. You wouldn't think you could pass your silver D of E with that could you?

Anyway it was a great weekend away and even though I got a bit sunburnt and a little over tired from the mixture of drunk guys on the first night, the huge row the next day and the cows on the second night it was well worth it. I really do encourage anyone who's thinking about doing D of E to do it, it's really fun and it looks soooo good on your C.V.

Cya later guys,

Love Jess xoxoxo.

Random Day

So my day was pretty damn good! Such a bludge, we had to watch "Room with a View" for the first 2 periods which was full of crazy naken men showing all for the camera (no I'm seirous, it's really quite scary)! Then after that we had to sit this stupid IPT S.C exam which we had 1 1/4 hrs to do it in and most people only took 30mins and then proceded to play on the computer. I managed to find my friends livejournal after about 40mins of looking around and even sigining up to see if I could find the bloody thing! Quite an interesting journal Amelia by the way; love your picture, it really suits you.

We all got out of the exam without dying of bordom and had to go off to a D of E meeting! That was fun - not really! We're leaving on friday - I can't wait to just finish it and get everything signed off once and for all. Last 2 periods was filled with communication skills AKA Peer Surport! I have to admit it was kind of fun to be able to relax and play stupid little games that are designed to increasse you ability to work with others. Sounds lame I know but when you've 2 yrs from finishing school these brakes in day to day routine become quite novel!

So just to finich off the day I went and did one of the few things in life that can really ease my mind - went rowing! However it didn't go to plan. You see my whole idea today was that going down to the shed was going to top off a generally good day, I ended up almost snapping my effing thumb off instead! Oh well shit happens what are you gonna do?!?!?!?!?!

Well before I bore you any more with my day and all the wonderful things that seem to be happening to me at the moment I'll say goodbye.

Cya guys later Love ya loads Jess xoxoxo.

Impact

Mel, Beth, Casey and Gem I'm so proud of you guys - you did so well on saturday night! Mel always so worried that you're not doing enough to help others, you did your fair share on staurday and just through doing that you did make the world a better place to be in for me and for many others! I'm really glad you guys seem to be having so much fun getting involved in all the various different things the church put on for you, i wasn't lying when i said i was proud of you. I really lucky to have you guys as friends and I love you all soooooo much and that goes out to Jules, Jacki, Han, Sar, Bubs, Lozza, Kiera, Ceinwen and everyone else who makes my world a better place!

I know this isn't much of a blog but I just wanted to let you guys know that you meen the world to me and I love you all more than you can know.

Loads of love Jess xoxoxo.